Well I've had my naop, my son made me the most amazing supper then he went off to North Bay for a concert. I'm sweaty, but I don't know if it is because of the heat or how I'm feeling. My heart is still pounding, I'm shaky, want to talk to someone but who do I call. It's the wkend and everyone is with their families but me. Isn't that pathetic! I know what I'm doing wrong but can't change it. WHY???
How I miss my mom because whenever I was alone she was usually the one I called and talked to. She sometimes would know there was something was wrong but most of the time I don't think she did. My mom had her own cloak which she called her blanket of hell.
I remember when mom went to the psych hospital, she was suppose to be gone only for a wk or 2. Then they didn't know when she was coming home. Because of my relationship with my older brother & sisters I was sent to Auntie Vera's till mom got home. The hell I put her thru was not near what my brother & sister did. Then as my mom got older and dad died, they seem to enjoy her company as long as she was taking them somewhere. I gotta stop this it is upsetting me more.
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