Pain Clinic Dilema

Well most of you wouldn't know that I was involved in not 1 but 2 MVA's less than a yr apart.  The first one was the major one.  It was December 30th and my hubby and I were visiting friends in Sundridge, in fact we had gone to have lunch with them.  It was the only time we  were going to get together over the holidays.  So about 12:30pm it started to rain and my husband didn't like the sound it was making on their patio door.  He asked if they minded that we skip lunch and head for home as the kids (all 4) were at home alone. 


We finished our coffee and were on the road home in less than 15 minutes.  By the time we passed Bray Motors Greg couldn't get the freezing rain off the windshield.  He pulled over cleaned it off then got back on the hwy again.  We were following now 2 cars.  I can remember the color of that car clearly as I hate red cars and it was red, but the car ahead of it, I have no idea.  We were going super slow because of the conditions but then we damn near came to a stop as the car in the front slowed down even more.  By this time we were at the passing lane just south of the High School.  The red car pulled out to pass, he fished tailed a bit but made it okay.  We were driving my Ford Mustang or I should say my hubby was.  He looked at me and said do you think we can make it?  I trust his driving over anyone's, so I replied if you think we can then go for it.  As Julia Roberts said in the movie Pretty Woman, MISTAKE, BIG MISTAKE!  From that moment on my life has forever changed thru no one's fault but that is life.  One minute things are okay and the next your standing next to the devil saying "What the hell?"

Well we started off with fish tailing, then we did 3 360 degree turns, hit the south bound shoulder did one revolution and then went end over end twice and landed with the wheels facing the sky.  Hubby undid his seat belt then undid mine.  I fell face down and tried to move and couldn't.  Greg jumped out of the car and every time I tried to move the pain in my lower back was like a hot knife but the worst was I couldn't move his legs.

The BEST DAMN VOLUNTEER FIRE DEPARTMENT  in the world South River/Machar Fire Dept. arrived to me seemed like hours but was only 10 mins.  It was determined that I had to be cut out of the car, so they put a collar on me and a hard hat with a light then to top it off the ambulance attendant climbed inside to keep me calm and put some blankets to try & keep me warm.  This in itself was almost impossible as the the ditch was filled water, it was raining big time and the windows were open so needless to say I was in Mustang bath. It took almost an hour to get me out of the car and in the ambulance and on my way to the hospital.

I was seen to right away, but the worst thing was that I had to pee so bad that I thought I wouldn't make it.  The nurse said because I couldn't move my leg that I wouldn't be able to pee and just to relax and she would put a catheter in.  No one had said it yet but I knew they thought I had broke my back and wouldn't walk again.  So I relaxed and pissed all over the bed & floor (lol).  She was not impressed and yelled she didn't break her back and left.  Eventually the doctor came in ordered a battery of x-rays and blood tests.   After 6  hrs in the emerg they sent me home.

The next day I was back in Emerg because I couldn't breath and in total body pain.  Turned out, I had a cracked 3 ribs, my sternum,  clavicle, lower rt jaw (lost 5 teeth), dislocated shoulder (rt), bruised rt lung, heart and that all caused by the seat belt.  One could thing though I wasn't dead, I also pulled all the ligaments & muscles from my spine but we didn't find that out for about 6 wks.

Then after months of physio therapy I went to Sudbury for an evaluation and had the second accident.  I suffered whiplash and a concussion and within 7 days had 8 seizures my first since my oldest son was born.  It was hell because I also aggravated my back injury.  I don't know if I was more upset about seizures or back injury.

So since then I've been in constant pain,  So after 23 yrs I've been sent to a Chronic Pain Clinic in Barrie.  It usually takes about 2 and half years  to get into this clinic but the last time I was in the hospital for the seizures I hurt my back again and the Dr that saw me there put it through as an extreme emergency.

So I go, expecting it to be just a quick consult with maybe a few x-rays and then the treatment starting on the next visit.  Boy oh Boy was I wrong.  So all who know me, know that I am no size 2 model, and those that don't know when I get depressed I eat, hell I eat shit I don't even like.  SO this young Dr.(who is in perfect condition and is sooooo hunky but way to young for most of you out there including me) starts to tell me all about the clinic and says he has read my chart and this is what he wants to do for me.  Now I should have clued in as soon as he said that he read my chart that all hell was going to break out and that read & glancing at were two different things.

This is what he told me  to start off with:  NO -- sugars
                                                                    NO -- fruits they contain sugar
                                                                   NO -- flours, rice or tapioca included
                                                                     NO -- dairy, cheese, cream in coffee, yogurt nothing
                                                                   NO -- tea or coffee
                                                                     NO -- pork, red meat
                                                                    NO -- desserts

BUT I CAN HAVE CHICKEN & FISH EVERY OTHER DAY AND ALL THE VEGGIES I CAN EAT.

Now he had a Tim Horton's coffee on his desk which I immediately looked at when he told me all this to which he quickly said "I don't suffer from chronic pain and I'm not terribly obese"

At this point I wanted to Bitch Slap him but I knew if I started I would be led away in handcuffs and charged with 2nd degree.........

He then tells me he wants me off my meds, and wants to add Lyrica for pain & inflamation control.  Now this is where I KNEW FOR SURE HE HADN'T READ MY CHART.  If any of you have seen the commercials on this shit then you would have got up and walked out.  But not me, because my husband just drove 2 1/2 hrs to get me here and they did get me in quickly.  So the side effects are as follows ; may & have caused severe depression (hell I'm depressed already), may increase thoughts of suicide (just got thru a spell of that), those with liver or seizure disorders shouldn't use this medicine.  F U C K  I'm epileptic and I have hemachromatosis.   Then he said well do you want to start the injections in your back today, so like a fool I said yes.  So 4 needles with freezing were put into either side of my spine.  The right side which is where most of my pain is didn't hurt or bleed much but the left side hurt like a bitch and really bled.  Now the ride home was okay because of course my back was frozen but the next day I was in sooooooooooo much pain it made me sick to my stomach but the next 3 days it felt really good.  But now after a wk it is back to where it was before.  I am going back for another consultation/injections and tell him that for one I can't afford to come down once a wk for a year and that the medication Lyrica needs to be looked into more closely by him because IF he had read my chart he would know I can't or shouldn't be taking it.  So that's my take on the Pain Clinic.  Everyone I had talked to that day had been going there for years, now if it was working then why were they all going for so long.  Because like everything  else  these 7 doctors are running a business and it is a sweet deal.  They all have full time positions in other offices and hospitals.

So I am a little leery of my next visit but I am not going to give up.  I forgot to mention that he also wanted me to have yoga breathing, more physio, acupuncture, hypnosis and massage therapy.  So if you have read thru this then let me know what you think,

There are Good Days!

Over the past 23 yrs since our Motor Vehicle Accident and the return of my seizures and the loss of my mother and siblings it has hit me very hard.  There was an incident about 2-3wks ago I swear I was about 4 glasses of water away from the here after. BUT my counsellor, hubby, my boys and a friend that has come back into my life stopped me and I'm sure it is because she knows I need her even if I didn't at first.


She also suffers from a debilitating condition and suffers from a cloak of a different color.  She is much younger than I am, yet is wiser than me be far.  She brought to me today a gift and if I had a cell phone I would take a picture of it.  Inside MY little box were sticky notes with words on them as she saw me.  She didn't want me to read them as we were going out for lunch, but also in the box was stones with words on them like: Believe, Courage, Strength, Peace, Patience, Love.  Then there were about half dozen small smooth blk stones and she told me that when I can't carry the larger ones, when things feel too heavy then take one of these tiny stones to smooth away the fears. I have never had anyone bring me such an aw inspiring gift and all it took was some rocks, sticky notes and words of encouragement. 


Thank you my friend, you will help those not so good days brighten up with nothing from you but one small box full of love & friendship.


So from the words she wrote on some of the sticky notes is: What I learnt today- is - That I'm awesome - Today is a new start - Nothing stays the same - Look after yourself - Love - Believe in myself  and most of all the last one I read was YOU MAKE MY DAY.  So today was a very good day thanks to my buddy.  Oh did I tell you some of the sticky notes were in the shape of a thumbs up sign.  Love it.


Anyone out there help any day, I will do what I can to help and if means making you a special treasure box with special notes and sayings in it, then I'm your gal. 


Have a great wkend Love ya

Glass Houses & Cecil the Lion

My mother, your mother all mothers at one time or another would tell you "those who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones"   Well here we are with the perfect example.  A young man, whom I don't know nor will I ever meet, nor will half
 the world.  He works hard and his hobby is trophy hunting, do I agree with it, hell no, would I do it hell no.  He is by all means living the dream, works hard at his job/career and when he can goes to a foreign country to fulfill his dream of shooting a lion and not just any lion but a great one.  So he goes thru the channels, gets all the shots, buys all the proper permits required from the Foreign Country which is allowing him to do this and off he goes.


Does it matter that he is a dentist, hell no.  Does it matter he has a family, hell no.  Does it matter that he used bait to get his kill, hell no.  WHY because he did what was allowed by this country to fulfill his dream.  Do I agree with it Fuck no.  But every year in the  States & Canada we bait animals to trap, shoot or bow hunt.  We call in ducks, geese and other fowls tricking them into thinking there is a mate near by, is that okay?  Well it must be to all of you out there that are crucifying this poor bastard.  Hell I'm as mad about it as all of you but Jesus take a step back and look at what you are saying and doing.  He has done nothing wrong other than you are all upset about a lion you never knew existed till now. 


Animals are killed daily for their furs, their skins, tusks, livers, gall bladders, fins, teeth, and yes even their penises.  Have any of you found out who is doing this and ruining their life, have any of you gone to a rally or signed a petition or taken a bill to your government to stop all this.  Most of you haven't, hell I haven't either but I'm still as pissed about what happened as anyone.  But it boils down to this, it is allowed as is; baiting bears, chumming the waters for a pickerel in the winter, deer scent & deer feeding stations to keep the deer close, (national geographic) hunters use old antlers to rack against the trees, hoping to trick moose near to defend their territory.


It is like telling a woman after she has been raped repeatedly and she finds out she is pregnant that she has to keep that baby.  Do I approve of abortions no, but if it was me I don't know if I would want the baby.  Abortions are as bad as killing animals,for no other reason than you can show the picture that you did it.  Is that an extreme example hell yes but what you are doing to this man is also extreme.


A friend of mine went to Africa 2 yrs ago, it cost him 25,000.00 for the chance to kill a Zebra, Water Buffalo,  Giraffe.  They paid 5,000.00 alone for the permit to do this.  They were not allowed to bring home any part of the animal but they could take as many photos as they wanted.  So he goes over not knowing anyone else in the group.  Now this man is 75 yrs old at the time and was as excited as could be.  He talked about it for months and finally the day came and off he went. He got there bought the proper gun and ammo needed as did all 7 of them and then the next day when they were ready to start the hunt were informed only 1, not all 7 but only ONE of them could kill an animal.  So they drew straws of grass.  The shortest got to do the kill and if he didn't kill one then  oh sorry for your luck. He did not get the straw and the man that drew the right straw did shoot a Zebra.  They all stood around the dead animal taking pictures, then they gutted it and gave it to the local village people.  So are you going to ruin their lives to because of what they did.  Cecil the lion was just as important as the fallen Zebra but someone somehow got wind of his plight and now a mans career and life will for ever be changed because he killed Cecil, not the gun.  Yet in the states they always say that it is their right to bare arms because it is not the gun that kills well tell Cecil the Lion that.


So the next time you want to put someone down or throw stones from your Glass House, remember the words from a very kind man I hear! "do unto others as you would have them do unto you"